NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS
Tuesday, October 07, 2008 | 03:30 PM
in Psychology/Sentiment
A fun email circulating trading desks, worthwhile as an informal measure of sentiment:
    CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
    CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
    BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
    BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
    VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
    P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
    BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
    STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
    STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
    STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
    FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
    MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
    CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
    YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
    WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
    INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
    PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
 
